The Nurturer’s Dilemma: Why Self-Care Feels Selfish — and Why That’s a Lie
You’re kind. You’re helpful. You’re thoughtful.
You take care of others. You make sure everyone has what they need. Your always aiming to meet expectations while you put your needs last.
That’s what good women do.
And so, without realizing it, we become super caretakers — of our families, our teams, our partners, our communities.
We become the one that everyone leans on.
It’s ironic. Because as nurturers and the way it is an organic part of our identify, it is beautiful, in many ways. But it’s also indicative of how powerful we are.
Nurturing is an incredible gift, but it gets complicated….
Somewhere along the way, we start believing that caring for others and caring for ourselves are mutually exclusive.
When we even think about putting our own needs on the to do list — let alone any where near the top — we get this feeling that it is selfish, indulgent, or worse, a sign that we are weak, or we’re “dropping the ball”.
And so we push through…
We ignore the signals….
We convince ourselves we’ll rest “later”…
We feel guilty for wanting any time alone, as if we are horrible for saying “no,” as if we are a failure when we want rest.
But let’s be honest: where has that gotten us?
It’s gotten us…
Exhausted.
Resentful.
Disconnected from our joy.
Running on fumes but still sprinting toward everyone else's finish line.
Here’s the truth that might make you uncomfortable…. at first — but ultimately sets you free:
Caring for yourself is not the opposite of nurturing. It is the foundation of it.
Because you are not selfish for needing space.
You are not weak for taking a rest.
You are not less of a nurturer when you say, “me too - I need a break too.”
You are allowed to be the woman who leads, gives, and supports others — and the woman who protects her own energy too.
You don’t have to abandon your nurturing nature. You just have to include yourself in the care.
Because when a woman is well — emotionally, mentally, physically — everyone she touches benefits.
Your well-being is not optional. It’s not selfish.
It’s as fundamental as eating and drinking. And it’s time you treat it that way.
Ready to take yourself off pause?
Book your free 45-minute Energy Reset Strategy Call and let’s get clear on what’s draining you, what’s missing, and how to reclaim the energy you’ve been giving away.
